Thank you for being vulnerable and for sharing your experience. I used to also suffer from crippling social anxiety disorder. I've (mostly) trained myself out of it, and I would honestly say that working with plant and earth medicines has tremendously helped me in my healing journey, to become less self-conscious and to learn to see the world outside myself. I recommend reading research like Michael Pollan's book How to Change Your Mind - we are learning, contrary to previous beliefs in neuroscience, that the mind remains malleable through adulthood and that it is possible to foster neurogenesis, form new neural pathways in the brain, and quiet the default mode network (the mechanism that serves to form the "ego" as we know it). Wish you the best of success in your journey.
