I don't think female energy is passive at all. It is on the receiving end, but that is not passivity. Women are more connected to the earth and spirituality, with our monthly cycles and our greater emotional attunement. Calm, healed energy is the opposite of being "code for anxiety" but rather is code for divine self-love, nurturing, compassion, and ancestral wisdom. To code "the need to control "as female is laughable, when that is clearly a way of being that has evolved with patriarchy and dominator culture, not with matriarchal and collective ways of living. I agree with your conclusion, more importantly; inhabiting and finding true, healed feminine energy has to do with doing the work to realize self-realization, embodied living, and an abundance mindset.